I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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