I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize