I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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