Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
