Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
