two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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