Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
