i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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