you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As shirtless as possible
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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