That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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