That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
