I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
