He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
