I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
