Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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