Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
