Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
