I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
