It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?