i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.