"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy