one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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