Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can I color on your dick again?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.