You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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