So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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