my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
