I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
