So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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