It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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