Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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