THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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