Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
