apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
