Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
