Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
