i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He kissed a someone with a penis
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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