Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
