the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize