We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
