My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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