We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just fell off a train. Bad.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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