can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
