did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
