whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
