what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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