If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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