Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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