yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
