Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
