the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
