He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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