I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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