I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My dick has a subreddit
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
