who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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