I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
