She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
