so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
