Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
