She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
