I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
