Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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