so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
