I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
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I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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