Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
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Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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