No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
