Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
