fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
