Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
