Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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